Bullying is a major problem in our schools today. However, bullying has always been a problem. The main differences between bullying today from the past are the nature of bullying and violence that occurs in the wake. Cyberbullying is becoming more popular and more destructive form of bullying than traditional bullying. More children are now carrying weapons to school to seek revenge on others. The harassment has occurred and is likely to remain in the coming years. Not only was I bullied as a child, but I continue to get bullied today as an adult. I do not have the power to rid the world of bullying. I think the answer to the issue of bullying is for all of us, including victims of bullying. I am not suggesting that victims of bullying are responsible for bullying.
Instead, what I mean is that victims of harassment have the power to believe in themselves, behave and react in ways that limit or eradicate bullying. As a society we spend a lot of energy to identify and punish the aggressor who does not spend enough time helping victims of bullying. We have to spend more of our energy into things we can control rather than the things we have little or no control. We should teach kids the power they already have. Let me elaborate on some questions that parents should teach their children about the issue of bullying.
Let’s talk first about the characteristics of bullying. Typically, offenders and their victims share the same characteristics – low self-esteem. It depends on whether internalize or externalize their feelings on whether it will become a bully or a victim of bullying. Typically, negative situations and events in the child’s life can trigger low self-esteem. Feelings outsourcing may cause some children to become abusers, trying to control their environment to compensate for their lack of control over his family. For example, if a child’s parents are divorcing and the child is very upset about the divorce, he or she may feel powerless in their ability to keep her parents together. Consequently, the child may have their anger to others for the purposes of seeking control to compensate for their lack of control over the impending divorce of their parents.
Given the same situation (parental divorce), some children internalize their feelings by not talking or acting on their feelings. Instead, they become depressed and withdrawn feel like a failure. Often, they develop a negative self image and physical appearance. They watch others and the world around them with parasol. When a bully validates the feelings of children themselves, this child often reacts negatively to the validation, because he or she feels the offender is correct in its interpretation.
Often, high self-esteem children do not react negatively to bullying because they already know everything the bully says negatively about them is false and therefore do not feel the need for defense of insanity others.
As human beings, our behavior, thoughts and feelings are never dictated or controlled by others, situations and events unless you allow this to happen. Simply said, others, situations and events that can trigger a reaction based on what we believe. In other words, unless we go to work today and my car has a flat tire, you might experience happiness because I will not go to work. Moreover, given the same event (flat tire), might want to go to work today to take care of doing business. Because the tire might delay or eliminate my chances of getting to work, this could do with my anger. How can the same event in both situations cause two different feelings? This was not the case and everything that has aroused feelings. It was what I was thinking in the event that triggered my feelings. Therefore, the manipulation of our thinking can change how we feel. We all have the ability to take ownership and control of our thoughts. We have, however, have little or no control over specific events, situations and behavior of others. Sometimes we try to control events, situations, and others, but are frustrated in our attempts fail.
But does the above apply to the issue of bullying? The main objective of the thugs is trying to get their victims to feel fear, anger or sadness. Once control of the victim shows signs of these emotions through the words you use and / or body language, the bully has complete and total them. The bully will continue to intimidate his victim until the victim verbally or physically displays fear, anger or sadness in response to bullying. The chase ended when the victim responds the opposite of what the attacker expects.
How can we get kids react the opposite of what the attacker is? This is where the role play is very convenient. Parents should regularly sit down with your children to help them learn to react the opposite of what bullies expect. Often, this task is much easier when the parent knows what hurtful words or phrases Gross said their children feel scared, angry or sad. Using these hurtful words and / or phrases in RPGs emotionally prepare children when they are approached by the assailants.
It is also important to teach children who have the power to change or influence the agenda of bullies by the words they use.. The worst thing a child can do is respond by saying that the attacker that he or she is stupid or make any negative statement. A negative answer only aggravate the situation, encouraging further bullying.
In addition, parents should teach and role play with their children specified forms of body language that reflects a child with high self-esteem of a child with low self-esteem. Body language communicates feelings more than spoken words. If a child yells at a bully that he or she is embarrassed by his behavior, the offender knows the child is uncomfortable due to the screams. The lack of eye contact, looking down, slouched posture, lack of hygiene, and the whisper can be considered as symptoms of low self-esteem.
Parents should teach their children that bullies rarely get angry with them. Bullies are typically angry with themselves and / or events that are or have been in their own lives for those with little or no control. The thugs passing through their anger where it could easily control.
Parents should never teach their children to defend themselves physically when he was accosted by a thug. The problem of fighting back is that children in difficult to participate in physically aggressive behavior. Think of it this way – bullies hardly ever throw the first blow. Always bring his victim to throw the first punch. Thus, when asked who started the fight, the attacker could easily say the truth that his victim began. In addition, there are significant legal consequences that may arise as a result of physically aggressive behavior.
It is important to remember that physical violence typically occurs after a negative verbal interaction. Violence is usually provoked and rarely unprovoked. Therefore, to avoid violence, conflict can and should be disabled during the exchange. Therefore, the words say the victims and their body language are so important and damaging to the result of intimidation. School shootings recent evidence suggests that the shooters were bullied by classmates. Bullying then triggered violence in school.
Parents should be cautious when teaching their children to ignore bullies. The problem is that ignoring the offender knows that his behavior is annoying, boring, and controlling their victim. As a result, the harassment will continue.
Parents should be cautious when teaching their children every time they report bullying to an adult. Parents should encourage their children to first try to resolve the harassment in themselves the skills taught above. If your children fail to resolve these problems themselves, should be encouraged to report bullying. If their children automatically report the bullying without attempting to calm the situation by their own means, will be perceived and labeled as a gossip story that will encourage more bullying.
Parents should teach their children the correct definition of complaints: the word. “Some kids think that bad behavior compared to adults is considered gossip. Parents must teach their children that reporting on others just to see problems is considered gossip. A child who falls from his parents that his brother manages the nose is talkative. The children still have to tell an adult if they were physical, sexual, verbal or otherwise harm, or if they were other witnesses involved in destructive or illegal behaviors.
It’s easy to feel pity and compassion for the victims of bullying. However, it would be more helpful to the victim, if we are more related to their needs, giving them the means to disseminate the bullying on themselves. Consequently, their ability to clear intimidation ultimately raise their level of self-esteem and self-esteem.
For more tips and advice on bullying prevention skills or to attend an educational seminar online, please feel free to log on to the construction of the National Family Force Seminar website.
As a motivational speaker, Mr. Lakewood facilitates seminars on family issues. He earned a master’s degree in social work, Mr. Lakewood parents scored their first DVD series entitled “The sudden enforcement” program designed to help children quickly and significantly improve their behavior at home, school and community. He also wrote “Stand Up to bullying” program for bullying prevention aimed at reducing bullying in schools, homes and community.